Say Hi to Mr. Tuttles

A cartoon clown was waving and smiling under the “Say Hi To Mr. Tuttles” caption. My friend and I exchanged glances. It wasn’t unusual for our apartments to put up posters of events going on in town, but this poster didn’t seem to have any information about where this event or show was happening.

“Do you think they forgot to tell us how to get tickets? Not that I’d want to.” Tony laughed at the poster, “God look at the clown’s outfit and makeup, it’s so ridiculous.”.

I looked at the clown seemingly smiling so much he was in pain. “I don’t know, I’d be up to see Mr. Tuttles if they had any details, my guess is it’s an ironic thing - it’s probably dark humor. Maybe it’s a pop-up we’ll see randomly?”

Tony shrugged, “Maybe”.

We live in a town about 40 minutes outside of Seattle, and the town has all kinds of eclectic and weird pop-ups, walking through our quaint little ‘downtown’ you never know what you’re going to find. We left the poster behind and went about our day. Tony worked in the next town over, so I left him at the bus stop, and I headed to my job in a real-estate office in our tiny downtown.

I didn’t think much more of it until I got home that night.

When I got home I saw a piece of paper under my door. When I opened my door I picked up the folded paper and had a look. It was another poster for Mr. Tuttles, but this one was different.

The clown was leaning against a chair, still smiling, with a sharper edge like he had gotten away with something. My blood chilled when I saw that in the chair sat a cartoony depiction of Tony, tied up, gagged, and with bruises.

Below the picture was a handwritten note: “Mr. Tuttles Doesn’t Appreciate Being Laughed At, Only With!”

I tried to call Tony and couldn’t get through. I called the police, and they took a report and said they are not aware of anyone named “Mr. Tuttles.” They couldn’t find Tony at his apartment or his work, nor at any of his usual haunts. They told me they’d look for him, but thought that maybe it was just Tony pranking me. I wasn’t so sure.

As worried as I am, that’s not what brought me to post here. It’s what I found this morning.

When I was leaving for work today, I found a poster on the inside of my door. The poster had “Say Hi To Mr. Tuttles” at the top, just like the other posters. Below the title was a cartoon clown winking as he chased a pig with a human face. It took me only a moment to recognize it.

It was my face.

At the bottom of the poster was a handwritten note: “Mr. Tuttles hates squealers - he’ll be saying hi to you real soon!”